by La Muse Angelique Aug 18, 2004
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
Pain is not just pain |
You had a good idea for this poem going on, but I was hoping for more detail into the pain and the cause. I think you could have elaborated more and gotten the reader to feel what you were feeling. Yet, your words were simple but conveyed truth that you were experiencing. |
by Just Val
I liked this poem, at first I got confused when you repeated a line but then I saw that is how you meant it to be, I do that to once in a while... I love your sense of style, the way you write. You flow without rhyming that is really good, wonderful talent alot of mine don't rhyme either, good job!! |
by Sean Allen
This was pretty good, but I wish you had described the pain more. You said that it wasn't just pain but that it was a deeper pain, which made me very curious. Perhaps either a stanza metaphorically developing the pain? Mebbe not. Anyhow, good poem. |