This was pretty good, but I wish you had described the pain more. You said that it wasn't just pain but that it was a deeper pain, which made me very curious. Perhaps either a stanza metaphorically developing the pain? Mebbe not. Anyhow, good poem.

I liked this poem, at first I got confused when you repeated a line but then I saw that is how you meant it to be, I do that to once in a while... I love your sense of style, the way you write. You flow without rhyming that is really good, wonderful talent alot of mine don't rhyme either, good job!!

You had a good idea for this poem going on, but I was hoping for more detail into the pain and the cause. I think you could have elaborated more and gotten the reader to feel what you were feeling. Yet, your words were simple but conveyed truth that you were experiencing.

You will find hope and faith in Christ Jesus, He will take your pain away :)

God bless you and Merry Christmas!

~MaryAnne