Not The Father I Want To Be

I feel like I have to be picture perfect just for you
And do it all the way you want me too
Have the perfect swing or know the exact way to throw
I'm only fifteen if you didn't know
But how would you know you weren't there in my life
Every wasted memory cuts like a knife
Screaming at me all these horrid words
You're good for nothing just absolutely absurd
If you could only see me my eyes closed tight my fist clenched
Trying to fight back my tears so you don't call me a wimp
You have made my future for me without my opinion
Well I'm sorry I don't want the things you intended
You're jealous of Amies dad because I wish he were mine
I can't help it your not the father I had in mind
All the haunting memories as I grew up I want to go away
But I think about them more and more everyday
Just holding my girlfriend thinking of our future
Knowing when I'm older ill never abuse her
One day we will be married and have kids of our own
But ill support them and be there for them even when they are grown
Never will I tell them to just give up they won't ever win
I'll pat them on the back tell them just to give their best and hang on until the end
Never will I raise my hand or my fist
I'm not going to abuse them if I get pissed
I know I'm not perfect and won't be the best there is
But I'm going to try my hardest when it comes to my wife and kids