Hmm, that was pretty confusing lol. Are you telling the account of someone who has gone insane, or was that a metaphorical thing? What is the significance of the sun rising in the South instead of the East? By the way, in the last line it should be "you're" both times, and in the second to last line of the second to last stanza (what a screwed up sentence) it should be "want" not "wanted" since "didn't" is taking the conjugation for "want". Yeh, well considering I didn't really understand it TOO much, I can't say i loved it, but that is definitely more my fault then yours. :-/ eh sorry. feel free to private message me to set me straight.

keep on going gurl u r a great writer

I loved this one, I like your emotions your feelings you really work them out good!! Have you ever thought of writing Love poems, or have you already? I think that you would express good emotions there too!! I hope you write more real soon!!! Like I said before I love your sense of style!!
Keep it up...I have a website too that you may want to check out the URL is poemsRus.bravehost.com
there are poems on there by alot of members from this site too so just checkit out!!:)

Sean Allen I've private messaged you, to tell you my point of view about my poems. I hope you can do something with it :)