Ode to the skin-bag

Ode to the skin-bag,
Who used to be 500 pounds;
Look at how the skin on his arms sag,
Now when he walks the Earth does not make sounds.

His old jeans have enough denim for two circus canopies,
His friends used to say he was Two-Tents;
But now, Baskin-Robbins has fallen to it's knees,
And the Earth's population isn't Gerald: 20 percent.

Here's to the skin-bag,
Who gave up ice cream, cheese, and Spam;
Who no longer looks for that All You Can Eat flag,
He's HALF the man I am!