Am I Different...Because of YOU?

I see everyone else laughing and smiling
All I could do is stare
Talking and joking
They have different hair
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Sometimes I'm happy that I am unique
Other times I'm not
Then I think should I be like others?
There's something that tells me I must not
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People are reading books about mysteries
While I'm reading about losing loved ones
They sit there reading , wondering whats going to happen next
Me I just let me tears drip onto the pages
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The others play video games with their friends
I'm alone laying on my bed filled with nothingness like I don't matter
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The others draw pictures of celebrities
I draw myself with wings on my back
I'm surrounded by clouds in the sky
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The others keep their blinds open for them the light does not harm
I keep mine shut so tight no one can see through for the light burns
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Everyone has lots of people in their heart
I have no one in mine
I did it was you
Remember that day when you said "See you tomorrow!!" and I never did
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Is that why I changed?
All of this because you died?
All of this because someone took your life?
Or is this just the way I deal with it?
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I've changed since you left as you can see
I'm not like anyone else
I am different, but was is it because of you?
Because you died and being different is the only way I'll make it through?
Or is it just ME?
+_+