I'm sorry

First of all,
I want to say I'm sorry,
for making you sad,
for making you worry.
It's not like
I want to be this way,
I want to be happy,
I want to be okay.
I'm sorry
that all my poems are sad,
but I have to write those feelings
I've always had.
What hurts me the most
is that boy who owns my heart,
he took it, held it,
and ripped it apart.
They all believe
my silly lies,
they can't see the emptiness
in my eyes.
No one knows me
as well as you do,
and I know that some of you
feel this way too.
All the depression,
I am no longer whole,
it's like a demon,
which I cannot control.
I hold onto my life
for everyone else,
because if it was up to me,
I'd end it myself.
They think I'm a happy,
thirteen year old girl,
but they don't see
how lost I'm in this world.
Everyone is hiding
who they truly are,
just remember that lies
will never take you far.
Yes, I do it,
I lie too,
but what the hell
do they expect me to do?
If I told them,
the honest truth,
they'd tell me to leave
and enjoy my youth.
So that's why
all this pain I hide,
i have built up a wall,
deep inside.
No one will ever
break that wall,
so continue to watch me
as I fall.
So I'm really sorry,
and that is not a lie,
I just want to say I'm sorry
for wanting to die.

©