Two or three years change a lot of things
Two or three years ago i was a middle schooler learning what the word "depression" meant. Learning what the world was like.
Learning what s** was.
Learning all sorts of things that really, i don't think i deserved to understand and grasp until just recently. Now if you're depressed you're cliche.
Now if you think differently than mass culture, you're a loser, or just a wannabe poser. right now i don't care what the world thinks, and frankly, i don't care what my friends think of it either. i KNOW who i am, even if I'm not always one hundred percent sure.
i cant really fathom how much I've changed though. I've never been able to notice much change in myself. i know i can write now. i know i have something resembling skills in some areas. i know SOME things.. but those "questions" i had a year ago still aren't answered. how can i get an answer to a question i don't even know how to ask? i think that now, though, its a mo of point. it doesn't matter.
I grew up too fast. My vocabulary, my writing style, my speech style, everything about me except who I physically am has matured beyond my years. I was made to be this way. I'll live with it. If one person leaves me, I have to get up and get over it. Things hurt and that's life, but I'll force myself to heal if and when that happens. I think all I really want is to be loved and held the right way; I have that now. I'm very happy with it. I feel stronger, and I'm grateful for that.
Doesn't change how hideous the world is, though. It didn't ever and never will. But I can at least forget about it sometimes.
Two, three years can change a shape a person's life in the most dramatic and drastic of ways.
I think mine was shaped for the better.
And I'm out to prove that.
