Always Mindful

She will not leave me to my thoughts
Her presence still remains
Upon my mind and heart and soul
It strengthens as it stains

Its just so hard at times to know
Exactly what she thinks
What kind of signals do I see
Among the smiles and winks

She said, “I’m just not interested”
I said that quite ok
I had to go along with it
For what else could I say?

I couldn’t say that I felt more
Cause things would get too weird
And the friendship would be strained
That’s one thing that I feared

Thus I will simply have to hide
The feelings that I feel
And let the future have its way
Whatever God may deal

I keep my distance from her now
I think its for the best
It’s the only way I’ve found
To keep my thoughts suppressed

I try to be a friend to her
Its not an easy task
To act one way and feel another
Its like I wear a mask

But still I pray God’s will be done
Whatever it may be
To be alone, to be with her
Oh, Lord just let me see

This prayer I pray now every night
To have some clarity
And understand just what to do
About my friend and me

She will not leave me to my thoughts
Her presence still remains
Upon my mind and heart and soul
It strengthens as it stains