Crying Angel

I lay there in a ball, crying
Always choosing between living and dying
I wanted to give in to death's appeal
Instead of living in a world that isn't real

No one cared if I was okay or deep in sorrow
They didn't care that I might not be there tomorrow
I screamed and yelled and no one seemed to hear
Finally confirming my deepest fear

I held that knife, ready to pierce my skin
I wanted to end all my suffering and give in
I craved to stab that tip into my veins
I needed to release all my inner pain

I was being sucked into this black hole and right out of life
Into a place where there is only a needed knife
I dreamt of a place where I could really survive
A world that had all the things I thrive

I let that blade enter me and heard a blood curdling scream
But still I was trapped in this far off dream
Not even my own scream could bring me awake
I sat there, bleeding, starting to shake

At the surface of my skin, I felt life seep
And slowly, oh so gently, I drifted off to sleep...
Now I'm here in this white hospital bed
Wondering why I'm still not dead

My body is now in a sickly shape
And no matter how hard I try, I can't escape
Why won't God let me leave if he loves everyone from birth?
Maybe I'm just a crying angel, stuck on Earth