Help~

Why is it that everything feels so lust?
Why can't we be a perfect family again?
I just stare at my hands
While holding a knife
I feel so disgusted
That i pull up a sleeve
And sharpen the knife
And i begin to saw
Cutting cutting motion
As i begin to see red streams of blood
I laugh, and cut alittle more
I sit there, and try holding in the pain
Its burning me, its stinging
Please help me mother
As it got infected
I felt bad
Died in the bed
While head was on the pillow
My arms were bleeding constant
So i just layed
As my mother slit my head
And told me to get to bed
I was already dead~