Suicidal

Time drifts by ever so fast.
Yet for me it seems to stand still.
I feel as though I'm entombed in a cast.
I won’t be free until-

Life is about living
But what’s living without life?
Going through it pretending to not be giving
A damn, but the words cut me like butter by a heated knife.

Trapped within my own infected mind,
Trying to fight but I soon will lose.
I can’t break free from this tight bind.
So run I try with my liquid: booze.

As I look up towards the empty sky,
Darkness. T’was a moonless night.
And in anger I shouted “Why?”
Why isn’t there, for me, a guiding light?

And than I realize there is none.
I smiled bitterly when I realized so.
Hence I took out the bullets and loaded the gun.
Ended my miserable life to let the pain go.