Unloveable.

My unworthiness seeps through my clothes
So that all who see me turn their heads and sneer.
In the leper colony of misery I am prominent.
Despair enshrouds me in its mantle,
I serve my life sentence in solitary confinement
Even my gaolers ridicule me.
They persecute me with their taunts
Guilt weighs heavy upon my soul.

Sleep brings no reprieve,
For in dreams I am submerged into a cesspit of ugliness and horror.
All around is foul excrement.
I awake each morning sweating, seeing sunbeams
Shine on the worthy but not on me.

Hope is an illusion, sanguinity the stuff of dreams;
belongs to others yet it eludes me.
Worry stalks me daily
Anxiety paralyses every venture,
Stifling my once passionate heart heart.
Rejection seems to be forever my only companion.
I see.
But am ignored.
I speak.
But no one listens.
I hear but no one speaks.

Satan himself mocks me in my isolation.
I am wholly alone.
Utterly unlovable.
The future does not exist
Only perpetual shame..,

x