Third Time Strikes Us Out

*Not one of my best, but figured I'd post in and see what sort of reaction I got out of it*

Sometimes I wonder if this pain is normal,
It just seems so natural to me.
I was crying in the back seat of the car,
Funny how you didn't even see.

In the morning there was a small fight,
As we readied ourselves so go shopping.
I thought about staying home to avoid the screaming,
But it just seemed to be stopping.

So I went along,
Pretending I'm happy to be.
But then out of no where,
Yelling proceeded to torture me.

You began to raise your voices,
Talking over one another.
Sometimes I want to cut right in,
Ask why they even bother.

You should be ashamed of yourselves,
Acting like the fighting won't come back.
It's like you build our imperfections up,
Scoring for attack.

You bring up the things you claim to have overcome,
You ignore my sniffles and cries.
But then you turn around,
Trying to convince me of how he tries.

Hate to tell you ma,
I no longer believe what you say.
I used to think things would get better.
Hope vanishes each passing day.

You inform me he has changed now,
To me he seems worse than before.
How come we didn't stay away,
The very first time we walked out that door.

We have gone from country to country,
Back and forth we have gone.
Some Italian stud I guess,
That was supposed to be over, wake up to a new dawn.

You will be joining us later,
As we continue to settle in.
This had better work itself out,
Third time running back is moral sin.

Tonight I don't feel like crying,
I don't want to lay my head down.
I'll start thinking and the tears won't fall,
Staring out at the shadowed town.

I haven't felt this way in so long,
Like I don't need to cry.
If you swish this away again,
I will surely die.

For you didn't even realize,
The saltiness streaming out of my eyes.
I hugged that pillow to soak up my tears,
You didn't see my silent, pleading cries.

I felt horrid when you apologized,
You are the victim here.
All I did was sit and listen,
Vibrations carry my worst fear.

You were the one being targeted out,
For once it wasn't I.
I couldn't even help you,
Sitting through another of my invisible cries.

This is the most we have spoken,
Talked in so many years.
I just hoped that when we finally talked,
These words wouldn't bring me tears.

You tell me of how we are going back,
And I just fill with glee.
But then you speak of what was spoken,
I am saddened permanently.

I tell you of the way,
I no longer feel like crying,
Too bad the tears are already forming,
As I am slowly dying.

Megan 2004 §