Alone I stand
in the shadow of my life
Behind these bars of fear I stare
out into the world that was once mine.
A suited man strides with purpose
briefcase in his hand,
Two young mothers sipping coffee
sharing the stories of their days
their babies sleeping peacefully in their arms.
A group of young men with time on their side
spot a young woman,
beauty radiating from her,
expelled with every breath.
Innocent children,
glowing with joy,
frollicking in the fields of love.
I want to be there
But I cannot.
I want to laugh
but instead I cry.
I want to sing
but I remain silent.
I cannot speak,
I cannot shout,
because without your ears
I have no voice.
I make no sound.
I cannot move,
I am frozen in time by my own fear.
Fear of the unknown
but afraid of stagnance.
Fear of falling in love
but afraid of being alone
in the darkness of my fear.
I want to move,
to laugh,
to live,
but I can only stare, at this fearful world,
to which I so desparately want to belong.
And with every tear I shed,
a part of my soul washes away,
Into the river
of the life I once had.
