I remember when I fell in love with you...the month...the night...the minute. My heart physically ached that night. Tears dripped from my trusting eyes and I knew not what to do...what to hide...or what to let go of. It's almost a year later, and I still haven't told you. You saw no tears in my eyes, nor confusion in my visage. It was dark. We lay there on your bed. I listened to your heartbeat, but you never heard mine. You still haven't. Your vanilla-scented candle was burning in that green, glass cube. I felt the breeze flowing through your balcony door. I heard the songs playing that you wanted me to hear. You saw only innocence, temptation, and yet another...yet another what? I remember standing before you. Wanting you to love me more than anything in this world. I've needed you for years; you knew it...and even when we were together, you were never truly mine. You've known it all along. I was just another virgin conquest. I am to this day. You still haven't conquered me. But if you do, will you have won our foolish game? Will there be nothing after?...God, how I love him...
I'm still unsure whether I should tell you what I've just recently discovered. It took over half a year of being without you to realize what had happened. I fell in love with you and then I let you slip away. I was so young, and inexperienced...and confused. I still am. I allowed that confusion to tear me away from the one person who taught me what it felt like to truly love someone with all your soul. I walked away...and then you did. I turned around, but you wouldn't look back, and I don't know if you ever will. For an instant, I saw my love in your eyes, but you blinked, and it sank back into the depths of my heart. I can't get it out. Please help me. It's burning a hole there and I know it's gonna scar. If I could just tell you, my heart would heal. But I can't do it alone. I need you now; I needed you then. I'll love you forever...
