Cold

It was cold that night
i touched your hand, cold as ice
your lips were blue
and your blood frozen
your heart beat no more
i saw a single tear
frozen to your cheek
the door held open i carried you in
it was warm and that tear slid
down to your lips
no tongue to wipe it away
suddenly i was a heap on the floor
i cried out to God
"please let him live
i could not bear
to lose him again"
then you twitched
and quieted once more
you were gone and i had this idea
what if i came to you
instead of you to me?
i picked up the knife
and felt that pain on my wrist
its surging now
i see you
you are moving
i have made a mistake
i cant undo it now
i see you look at the knife in horror
then you go for the gun
and then i shut my eyes tight
i cannot bear you harming yourself
i will just shut my eyes
and be no more