Tears of Pain!

You were just to blind to see
how much I really cared
you didn't even pay attention
to when I was really there!

I tried so hard
to think of things to say
I never wanted to upset you
in any kind of way.

I am so sorry if you thought I was never there
I am so sorry that you thought I never cared
I never wanted you to feel that way
I never even knew of what to do or say.

You were my bestest best friend
and I had listened to every word you said
but you just wouldn't ever open up to me
always hiding your true feelings about your boyfriend being dead.

I never even ignored you
I wanted to always be at your side
I didn't want you hurting yourself
with all the pain you tried to cover up and hide.

So much pressure
of worrying of what you might do
I knew you wanted to die because of Trent
and I didn't want to end up losing you to.

I cried every night
asking God to make you strong
because I couldn't bare the thought
of you also being gone.

So if you think I am selfish
because I tried to ease your pain
I am sorry you looked at it that way
hopefully the truth is what someday you will gain.

I am glad Sam's now your best friend
so you don't need to rub it all in my face
because the only thing I ever wanted for you
is for you to be always happy in everything you do.

So when I see you smiling
from all the way down the hall
I will think of how much I miss to hear you talk to me
without any kind of insecurity.

I will remember back on those days
when we used to laugh over nothing
such as the time I spelt that pop on the floor
boy was that really something.

I will remember the times
when we always acted so dumb
I loved those moments
because they were always fun.

Everyday on my way to school
I always thought about seeing you
because you were the highlight of my day
and because you helped me through in every way.

I am sorry you didn't feel the same way
and now here you are saying GOODBYE
well sense you decided it is now our end
I to, will wave my hand painfully back and forth, waving to you back, goodbye!

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