Bulimia

I cant really write,
all i know is how i feel,
i don't want to eat today,
but if i don't mom will be mad at me.
so ill eat.
but there's something she doesn't know,
it doesn't stay there for long.

the sound of the chunks as they hit the water,
the spaghetti she made just went to waist,
i feel kind of bad,
but then i know that if i keep this up,
someday ill look like that girl,
but you don't know who that girl is,
shes just some girl that i hate,
i wish i was her all the same.

so i do this everyday at lunchtime in school,
its OK, I'm not sick.
i just feel like I'm fat,
I'm ugly,
my daddy said so,
so ill do as he wishes
and be pretty for him,
and then he cant call me names anymore
or tell me that he doesn't like me,
cause ill be pretty,
and hell like that.

so at lunch time,
it doesn't matter what time,
as long as no ones in the bathroom,
i just do it.
its not like I'm doing anything bad,
i just think that being full is disgusting,
i hate food,
and recently Ive been doing this just so i can have love again,
i guess its twisted to you,
but i see it...

but for now,
as i sit curled in the corner waiting for my stomach to settle,
i just know that someday everyone will love me,
it'll just take some time,
but right now I'm not done,
so ill do it another time,
maybe ill come back next period,
just as long as theirs no one in the bathroom...