Meant For Only Me

Deep down in my heart,
I don't want to think about you.
But you find your way into my thoughts,
like you always do.

And I try to ignore the pain and hurt
as the tears begin to fall.
It brings me to my knees each time
and I feel I have to crawl.

It brings me down and tears me apart
in ways you would never understand.
I just want someone to hold me
or at least be there to hold my hand.

I just don't want to be alone
when you are in my head.
I always get so down
and I often wish I was dead.

In death, I wouldn't feel this
ripping me in two.
Of course, I would still be alone,
so I don't know what to do.

I just wish that there was someone
meant for only me.
And I wish that he would find me,
wherever he may be.

Until the I'll have to cope
with the loneliness I feel.
But someday love will find me,
and it will be completely real.

*Any vote/comments appreciated*