I can't get passed our past

I know it's been a while since I
saw you last

I try to smile, but I still remember
the past

It still haunts my heart, and has
never let me go

Yes, I still love you so, but I could
never tell you this

I could never ruin it for you

It's funny how you tried so long
to earn my love

I guess now the tables have
turned..

I try to smile for you, so you
don't think I'm still holding on

I try to laugh with you so you
feel like we're still as close as we
were, when we were best friends

But it's so damn hard, trying
to erase

All these distant memories from
my mind

About our first kiss, and the first
time you said I love you

About every little thing we had to
go through

I just want to cry on your shoulder
once again

Just want it to be like it was back
then

I can't help but be selfish and
wish for these things

Because my heart, is in so much
pain

But I know that's not an excuse

But the truth

The truth of the matter is

I still love you more and more
each day

never have I stopped, even to
take a breath

I still do wish that you were mine

And that we didn't have to leave
forever behind

I still do wish that I still had your
whole heart

Not just a part of it

I can't deny the fact that I'm sad

But hope you don't see through
the mask

I want you to be happy...

I really do

But my heart aches day after day

Week after week

Making me wonder

Will this pain ever cease?

But I can never tell, when I
think it's gone, it comes back
on me like, a waterfall

When I see you smile it seems
so unreal

Why can't I just speak of what I
really feel?..

But that wouldn't be right, because our time together was great

But the fact still remains, you
didn't make the choice

So I made it for you

But aren't you glad?

I mean, no more me holding you
back

No more me making you feel bad

No more me..in your heart

~*SaMmIe*~