I enter the room and my mind and eyes both are on one single, solemn, solitary item that sits and awaits his turn to be useful. They are on cold, hard, stainless steel. The mirrored surface of its sharp blade chants my name, aching for me to embrace it, to become one with it.
I walk over to it not blinking, not taking my eyes or mind off of it. I reach out my shaky hand, slowly slightly gracing the smooth surface just enough to feel of the cold unforgiving yet beautiful steel.
I take the item out of its case and slip it open and my mind is stopped and stalked by a single thought, the question of how many long deep lacerations i can create with it upon every inch of my body.
My mind then skips to another it is of......her. Her graceful face, her golden hair, her silky skin, her angelic voice.
I then toss her out as to fulfill my desire to become one with cold heartless steel. I then press the blade against my anxiously awaiting skin.
The mirrored surface reflects the light into my eyes and catches my undivided attention. I no longer hear the song playing on the radio, I no longer see anything. I just see what the blade wants me to see and that is of me, but not the tall striking man on the outside, but the real me inside. The little boy who cries out for help, who cries out for any one to help him, who cries out for any one to make him understand.
As I see ME my mind reaches out and grabs the thought i had cast out only minutes before, it grabs...her. It shows me her gracious face then suddenly it makes her look at what I am about to do the her eyes fill priceless tears which should never be there.
As a single clear tear rolls down her subtle cheek an unstoppable, uncontrollable juggernaut forces me to lift up on my steel. I watch as a tear falls through the still air and land on the item in my hand and the crying boy in the blade stops crying.
She walks up to the boy in the blade, hugs him and whispers in his ear then he smiles, the she turns holding his hand and looks at me then she mouths the words "Thank You". As another tear smashes onto the image smearing it away and I see as I am on the outside and I am crying uncontrollably as I mouth the words "No...Thank You".
