Doubt

When the smoke blocking the sky is born from a church thats burning
and Sunday school seems to neglect a lesson needed to be learning
when blackened feathers, singed and crisp, are falling from the sky
don't i have a right to doubt and have a reason to ask why?

i would love to believe i have a father sitting high upon a throne
i imagine him bathed in gold because the world is all his own
but i have yet to know why god would want to watch ME from outer space
when i cry out to heaven why cant i see his face?

and i would love to believe in castles sitting high in heaven's clouds
filled with a chorus of spirits singing down to earth out loud
but who knows if we've made this up to prevent fear of damnation
but look around, were already there, in a raped and murdered nation

and maybe I'm wrong to doubt but I'm not sure if they really care
or maybe they just cant Caz what angels can love if they're not there?
and who really knows to what divinity were praying
if there's a god receiving every plea then why is he delaying?

and who can say they've seen his son walking among the stars
when hero's hearts are shattered and children bare horrid battle scars
pledging allegiance under god yet reporting evolution
preaching faith and peace then giving Satan our contribution

when song birds sing to heaven but only demons answer their voice
and princesses willingly burn because they know they have no choice
when little kings are brought up surrounded by ashes and destruction
they grow to see a killer in their own mirror's reflection

and i would want to believe that if i was dying god would appear and take my hand
but what happened to the other girls when they screamed for his demand
many have died raped and stabbed then left in the dirt to rot
when it was god's own name they pleaded while for their lives they violently fought

where was he then? is he there? you cant blame something that doesn't exist
supposedly he watches us and holds the world in his mighty fist
but don't you think that if he did the world wouldn't be decaying
i guess that we've slipped through his fingers and in his eyes were clearly fading

when little angels innocent seem to misplace their halos
and god is watching every loss the pain on this planet he knows
does he strike a bolt of lightning? NO he says nothing at all
how is it he can watch his own little fairies fall

when a man is hanging by a thread and asks him one last time for just one word
then quickly pulls the trigger when nothing is to be heard
and when that man's own daughter is drowning in his pool of blood
does god take the time to dry the horrid flood?

NO he doesn't a thing even though its the same disaster hes seeing
but maybe he cant see because there is no spiritual being
even every priest has doubt settled in their mind
this is my explanation, either that or our lord is blind

i want to believe that hes there, listening to be from high above
and i want to believe that someone that divine could find me to love
i would want to think that he cares about everything Ive said
but so far Ive had no answer and to me he seems quite dead