I Shouldn't Love Him....

There’s this guy, he’s the best I person I know
He loves when I laugh, loves to see me smile
He lives far away, but it means so much to me
To be able to talk to him every once in a while.

We spent only a few hours with each other
Then he had to go when the daylight grew dim
The next time we talked, I felt my heart fall
And before I knew it, I was in love with him.

After talking to him on MSN for almost a year
Surprise, he told me he was coming to see me
I had a serious boyfriend, but I just couldn’t wait
To see what should have, and might have been.

The moment I saw him I fell all over again
And it hurt, because I thought he wouldn’t know
Turns out he did, because he still liked me to
And when I stood with him the day he had to go…

I kissed him. I just looked up and let it go
I didn’t care about anything but him right then
It was important that he understood how I felt
Before he got on that plane and left once again.

As soon as he was gone, I was hit with what I did
I kissed another boy while my boyfriend was at home
Little did I know that things would only get worse
Because I guess that’s the way my life story goes.

I told my boyfriend, and we cleared it all up
And I vowed to stop loving the other right away
But it’s not that easy, because as I sit here now
I realize that its true, I still love him anyway.

Even with the distance and time we’ve spent apart
I know that we’re meant to be, we have to be someday…
I love my boyfriend too, and because he’s here I know
That I love him more…but that’s only for today.

For tomorrow the other might come and be with me
We won’t be like this forever, because we shouldn’t
He won’t ask me out yet, although he wants to so bad
And he knows I’d say yes…even though I couldn’t.

I hate doing this, because I’m hurting all three of us
But I can’t help but feel what my heart feels
I only wish that we could’ve had our chance
So I could at least know if our love is real.

He tells me he loves me, and it hurts me to say
That I love him too, so much that sometimes I cry
But I also love my boyfriend, much more that I should
And I know that to one, I must say goodbye.

This is a true story. It's not a very good poem, but the first poem I've been able to write about my situation. Thanks for reading it if you did, and sorry its so long.