Nah it's ok, got some passion, which is more than can be said for most poetry..

It is very simple though, perhaps if you are looking for pointers, you could try writing a poem which is subtle, and though not confusing, forces the reader to consider what your trying to say aye?

no, the rhyming's good. i liked it! is it about girl power? hmm.. i liked how you wrote it though. take care:)

I loved the rhyming - i think the poem itself could be well elaborated and sort of a lil more in depth - you have picked a great subject something i am really passionate about actually and i think this is a great attempt ...id be happy to help with a resubmittion but this is a great effort! Check out some of my work id appreciate your feedback also!

Luv Eirisa xoxo

GURL POWER!!!! yeah! its to the point and very bold! u tell 'em hunni!

yay go girl! :D

i dont think its too much rhyme. good poem!