When I was alone, I was content and relaxed
With you, I’m confused and dazed, torn and broken
Lost in a sea of emotions, while feeling nothing at all inside
When I was alone, I might have been lonely
But being lonely was heaven compared to this.
Right now I can sit here, feeling nothing and crying
Cutting, just to see if I feel the pain
I don’t. I don’t feel the loss either
I just see the blood falling…
Falling…
Down.
Dripping onto the floor I once worshipped
For you stood at this spot the day I became yours
I gave you my soul, my existence, and for what?
So you could tear apart my life by loving me this way.
I’m disgusted with who and what I’ve become
An empty shadow, for the light can’t even hit me
You shaded my world into an undesirable black.
I can see my world spinning, slowly revolving around you
Waiting for it to stop, ending the nothingness I am
I look once more at my bleeding wrist
Feeling no such remorse for the beautiful crimson
I can see it fading
I’m almost gone now.
Wishing, for this last moment I have
You could see me now, and know what you have done
You loved me, I know you did. That tore me apart
Broke me into a thousand pieces, like the mirror I shattered
Using what was left of my reflection to end this all.
I only want to feel something again
So I cut again and again, until there is nothing left.
I never liked the color red, but I watch it paint my floor
Losing myself in the depth of its existence
If only I had been as deep as this pool of my life
Maybe I could have escaped, unscathed, from this bond with you.
This sea of emotions is drowning me now
While I still feel nothing
As I’m falling…
Fading…
Gone.
