My Life - My Nightmare

My vision betrays me
I only for-see death
And I'm constantly waiting
For one last exhaled breath

I curl myself tight around lies
Weaving in and out of hate
This tainted life is broken
A world of no escape

But could death be an answer?
A way to ease this pain
A way to fight this darkness
And finally make it sustain?

Oh, murder is so tempting
My soul could be set free
A pull of the trigger, scar with a knife
It all just seems so easy

But, will they think me weak?
That I had no strength to fight?
When I've tried so hard to tell them
I fought with all my might

So many voices calling
Do it! No! ... Be strong!
I haven't had clear thoughts
In I don't know how long

I'm faded, no one sees me
And this dead heart's pulse is fake
I thought I was real and living
But now I'm dead, I felt the break

I envision myself in a coffin
Painted black, and all alone
No memorial service held for me
No remembrance or gravestone

It's a nightmare that I live
Every time I go to bed
White roses surround my body
That's lifeless, cold, and dead

Slowly the roses fade, and wilt
I deteriorate inside my grave
And no one even remembers me
I'm just the girl they couldn't save

Rain begins to fall on my coffin
I assume it's angels crying
Then my soul awakens from sleep
And I spread my wings - I'm flying

I made it, I'm OK
I'm taken into a comforted embrace
No one here will ever see me
With a broken, distorted face

Tears stream down my cheeks
As I remember what it's like to smile
To have real light break through
And shine down on me a while

Soon, a shadow creeps over me
And I reach out for this distant scene
But I'm reaching for nothing
After all - Its just a dream

The angels disappear from sight
Right before my eyes
And suddenly I am surrounded
By my horrid life, so full of lies

I scream as loud and as hard as I can
For an angel to hold my hand
And lead me to a heaven on earth
To a sacred, holy land

But my wings collapse and break
Feathers fall slowly from the threads
My tears become ugly demons
And rip my tattered body to shreds

And soon I awake from my sleep
I'm stained with tears- My cheeks are wet
And I know this is a nightmare
A nightmare I won't forget

Some might say it's not so bad
But how I wish that they could know
That I'm a fallen, shattered angel
With shredded wings, and a broken halo

And there is no one here to save me
So death is what I choose
There's nothing left for me in life
In death - What is there to lose?