Maybe my end?

Truth is a curse on mankind
this curse i can not help but be overwhelmed with by your eyes
Once again i must tell the truth
the blood fuses with the tears
lies seem to be a synonym for my life at this point
I can only find happiness in hate
anger has a relentless bond over me
i soak my pillow to release the anger so i don't hurt the ones i love
it seems to not help.......

so many beatings and being the worthless shit i am,as they say, has killed my spirit and the body is not willing
A failure seems to be the reason for life to be thrown away....

"why the hell not? ill take that title with honor, move aside ill show you how its done!, no no, you don't know how to use the damn thing here let me show you"
"if you cut HERE! and HERE!"
::drops knife and falls to the ground gasping for air::
"you get that rush....the redemption and that feeling of all is alright"

"what a pathetic waste of life i have become" i mumble to myself, "I'm going to die in this puddle of my own blood, they needed a vision they needed to know what hate and following me will bring, maybe now they will follow their hearts and never forget how to love"

fearfully i look at my life and scars and think that this could be how my end comes...but i have a question. for you to die to show one the wrong of his ways ...would that be in vain?