Loneliness

Short and straight to the point. I really liked this poem. Keep it up.

Yeah, do what Sean says. maybe start out with 8 syllables, and remember to keep it consistent. Unless you want to try a peom that has no R&R at all. Both Seanand i have some of those. They're fun sometimes :-)
Aken Sol

Hey I liked this poem. If you were just an above average poet, I would say this is great and you should keep up the good work. But i know you can do better, so I'll do my best to offer improvements for your next poem. I would advize making ur lines longer. you don't have to make the poem longer, just the lines. I would say 10-12 syllables is a good count. Sometimes long lines make ur rhyme scheme less distinct, and you can really start sounding good (e.g. The Raven by Poe).