Words are useless. Gestures are pointless. Nothing ever matters if I can't even speak. Thinking thoughts of useless confusion never knowing which "good" things to say. My words stutter and my eyes freeze, my whole body shuts down as you take over my world. I try to speak and control myself but it’s as if it’s not the right time. I stand alone away from the crowd waiting for you to approach me just so I would freeze up again and watch you walk away, unaffected by my every thought going through my head. All I can do is wish. Wish that some day the courage inside will take over and I will be able to speak the language I once spoke, in the eye I once stared, but never truly understanding the reason it all started. Always wandering what it would be like if it were all different. Picturing you in my head is all I can do now. That and wait for the silence of the end where everything becomes clear and I can hold u in my arms in bliss.
