My Pain

I hate my life,
but I love this knife,
makes my wrist feel so good,
better than any one could.
I don't want to live another day,
I hate my life, what can I say?
Just nothing ever seems to be right,
This is the pain I have to fight.
This is like my only fear,
why do I always cry these tears?
I feel as if I am a creep,
because these cuts are so deep.
I miss how things used to be,
but this is the life God wished for me.
Why did things end up this way?
Why am I still living today?
maybe if I was a boy,
would I still have been your toy?
What did I do to deserve this sh!t?
I'm sorry but no longer can I take it.
Why did you always hit us?
you yelled and you cussed.
I'm tired of pretending I'm OK,
so it's better for me not to stay.
If you say you really care,
you'd let me go, 'cause this pain I cannot bear.
Why can't you see,
What is really hurting me,
if you really care,
why is it you don't bother to hear?
Why I'm hurting, someday you'll realize,
and when you figure it out, inside you'll die.
Then you'll be sorry you didn't care,
you'll be sorry you didn't bother to hear.
and all those lies you once told me,
will come out, just wait and see.
you'll regret everything you did,
and everything you ever said.
When you see me drenched in red,
you'll know why I am dead.
So when you say you care,
make sure you're ready to hear,
'cause what I'm about to say,
is today's my last day!

* I know its kinda long, but if you took the time and read it, thank you... my poems mean a lot to me so I'd appreciate it if you would vote and/or comment...thanks...love ya ayna*

©lisha 2005