So many things were wrong with you then,
You were messed up in the head.
But you don’t deserve what you did,
No... You don’t deserve to be dead.
I know that it took a lot,
To be the man you were.
But you turned to any thing,
Just to make your life a slur.
So you took your life away,
You took yourself from us.
You always made a big deal how
No one else could replace us.
Things are different now,
Oh I wish you could be here to see.
But everyone has drifted apart.
Everyone has forgotten me.
But we all know why we don’t hang out,
Because it reminds us too much of when you were here.
So we just gave up on everything.
Even drinking you away with beer.
Every April 20th,
Will be a remembrance to you.
This shows how much I still care,
Even after all the sh** I’ve been through.
I’ll never do it.
I’d never take my own life.
I promised you when we were friends
That suicide was never right.
But you broke your promise to me,
Almost 5 years ago.
That you would never think about it.
You would never sink that low.
God I miss you so damn much.
I miss you being happy.
I miss the times when you would smile
I miss the times you were upbeat and snappy.
But before that day you seemed so sad.
Dysfunctional and out of place.
You couldn’t even talk to me
You couldn’t even look me in the face.
You knew you were going to do it.
You knew you were going to go.
But what I don’t understand
Is why you never told?
Something’s are better left unsaid
You’re gone though, so you cant hear.
I loved you much more then anything.
I wish to god you were here.
It was that little smile
That would creep up on your face
That made my life worthwhile
And made it full of grace.
Your eyes were dark,
An irreplaceable misty brown.
Every time you'd look at me,
I’d blush and then look down.
If only I would have told you
How much you meant to me.
Maybe you wouldn’t have done it.
You wouldn’t have hung yourself from that tree.
Then I heard something the other day,
That made me cry on the floor
He told me that you wanted me...
Wanted me like I did you before.
He said that your love for me
Was something I couldn’t ever imagine?
That you would always talk about me.
And tell him how much you wanted to touch my skin.
Holy shit I’m going to die
I want to shoot myself.
But it’s not worth it anymore
All I do now is blame ones self.
Maybe something could have happened
To change that April day.
No ones really changed like me
I miss you more then I can say.
Now that I know we could have been something
Things seem different then before
I’ll just weep silently
While I keep wishing for you more and more.
