The lines on the paper seem to conjure these words from my hand,
And though I try as hard as I do, I never understand.
I don’t seem to comprehend why these pages fill with pain,
Why my tears fall upon these words as I melt under the rain.
I cannot grasp the concept that my heart can feel this way,
That I can live with all this hate, so silently I fade.
I don’t know why I carry on when my scars are bleeding through,
And why my mind keeps wandering to my last time with you.
I cannot seem to understand how I can live like this,
How can I want something so much and yet refuse to take the risk?
How can I live with this torment? Shadows screaming on the walls,
And I expect to forget the times when no one heard my calls.
I cannot seem to understand, why these thoughts won’t leave my head,
I cannot seem to shake this dream that inside I am dead.
I only want to understand these feelings that pull within,
That even though I am happy, I am living my own sin.
I truly want to know, why I cannot seem to change,
Why is it I feel I’ve grown and yet I have not left this place?
I cannot seem to let things go, to let them die within my past,
I cannot over come my doubts that happiness won’t last.
My shadows over took me, and my pain has bled me dry,
But it seems no matter how empty I feel, for someone I still cry.
