Hey people
I was really sad when I wrote this poem and didnt really take time to do it neat or any thing... been kinda depress and lazy to do any thing or even care about any thing.
Thanks for viewing my poem

you've expressed your thoughts very well, Josiah....
I think if you took time to go back through it and polish it up, it would be an excellent poem! The main thing is that you switched point of view half way through... (referring to the girl as "You" near the end rather than "her" like in the beginning)

Great start you have here though!

hey i like it. its youve shown ur emotions through it well look forward to reading more of ur work

abby xxxx

Thanks
i started to fix it yesterday I noticed that there was a grammer problem tho.

Thanks for leaveing your imput=)

You got these three poems with the simular subject. I was ok, but got kind of stagnent. I thought there was too many then in the poem and I felt raiment could be better of with the use of healed just a thought. Take care...