Broken smile

The felling I have is too hard to explain
And I feel like I could just break down and die.
Having to deal with all this pain,
When all I seem to do is cry.
This situation doesn't seem fair,
Not only to me but to all the rest.
To hurt all the people who care,
But they say it's for the best.

So I ask my self why?
And what will this do?
Will this be my last goodbye?
Or will I still be able to be with you?
What will happen if I go away?
Am I going there just for a while?
Or am I going there to stay?

I'm staying here and my answer is no,
Even if I have to run away.
Because I'm too scared to leave you go.
And I’m not able to live without you even for just a day.

But if I left what would you do?
And what would you have to say?
Would I always be missing you?
Or would I have wished for just one more day?

I didn’t get to give you a hug and say goodbye or that I love you,
Thinking I’d have another day,
But instead I got taken from you,
Even when I begged to stay.
It hurts for the longest while,
And all there is to give is a broken smile.
What's even worse is knowing I might not see you for many more years
And that memories are all I have through smiles and many tears.
But I've learned to live through all of my fears,
And through all the long and painful years.

You’ve helped me through the good times and the bad,
And you were always there.
But because of me, everyone is sad,
And life just doesn’t seem to be fair.
Still I ask myself how?
How could this happen to me?
And may I go home now?
For my family I am dieing to see.
But if I come home today,
I'm coming home to stay.
And it might take a while to get use to this place,
But the broken smile I cannot erase.

This poem is about rough times when my whole world felt like it fell apart . . .
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