I just realized something. I do that a lot,
Realize stuff I mean.
Thoughts just seem to come to me
At random yes weird.
Sometimes its useful. mostly its not.
Cant control what comes to my mind
What I realized was in fact
That it is hard for me to cry
I haven’t cried in a very long time
I think that’s what’s wrong with me.
I’ve really tried to. so many times
So many times I want to.
But somehow I just cant.
Its from trying so hard
So hard not to cry
So many times
In front of people I know and I don’t
And now I cant anymore.
I think I’ve gotten hardened.
Like a shell that doesn’t let me feel.
Not anything real anymore.
I think that I’ve grown used to being
Disappointed or hurt or crushed
That now im in a constant state
Of blaw and nothing more
Don’t have anyone who really cares
I think I am just unable to feel
Cause I fear any strong emotion at all.
I am numbed through and through.
I’ve almost stopped caring im tired of caring.
It sucks the energy right out of you.
I have nothing left. And nothing to give
Now im just tired
