I told you once
about my younger years
all of the pain inside
why i shed so many tears
something was locked up inside of me
it needed to be let out
i felt that ti could tell you this
and what my scars were all about
as you sat next to me
cuddling close on your bed
i placed a pillow on your leg
there i rested my head
i started by telling you
about my 4th and 5th grade years
when i got that pain in the back of my throat
and burst into tears
as i settled down
i told you of all the names that i was called
you asked who had said it all
while sounding unbelievably appalled
moving on to what happened
all of the problems the teasing had caused
again started the tears
for a moment i paused
i talked about therapy
how it never solved anything
but more problems in my life
and all the more pain it would bring
during that part
i never once said why i was there
i waited until after
when i calmed and you played with my hair
as i revealed the scars
the ones you could still see
i reassured you about us
how there was no more of that pain inside of me
i told you why i had done it
how much better it made me feel
as you told me how stupid you thought i was
i noticed how your love felt so unreal
you never took into consideration
exactly what i went through and felt
you just didn't understand
how i thought it helped
for three years
i had been cut free
after seven months of being with you
i ended up in a state in which i never again wanted to be
cutting to feel better
about myself and my life
the only one who inflicted pain on me was you
i never once blamed the knife
do you see that you've caused
something that i thought had gone
you brought it back to the surface
so that more problems is all i had drawn
