A Suicide Story

It was nearly two in the morning
When she decided to go
She held the gun to her head
And prayed for one silent blow

Her hands shook on the trigger
She trembled and cried
But comforted herself in knowing
That in life- hard she tried

There was nothing she could do
Her soul was no longer alive
And through one more wreck-less day
She just could not survive

"I'll count to ten" she screamed
As she held the gun up to her head
"Eleven won't ever make it,
But that time, I'll be cold and dead"

A deathly gasp of horror fell
From her eyes, and down her cheek
Numerous amounts of uninvited tears
Made her feel so used and weak

"One - This one's for my sorrow
And the pain I felt each day
How every night I went unanswered
Even though I went to God to pray"

"Two - I blame my own family
For never knowing anything was wrong
Never sensing I was hurting
Never gave me a home where I belonged"

"Three - For all my so-called friends
Who said they'd try, but not succeed
For all those times I took the knife
Cut a scar, and let it bleed"

"Four - For just plain anger
At myself, and this belittled world
For all those that feel like me
All those broken boys and girls"

"Five - For every time I reached to you
And got shoved back into the ground
For all those times I screamed
As you all claimed to never hear a sound"

"Six - Now that I'm half way through
These remaining reasons are for me
After all the days I starved for comfort
From the friends that couldn't be"

"Seven - This one's for my heart
And the insides that past away
For all the days I've suffered through
And the broken seams that frayed"

"Eight - For all the times I ever cried
And not one single soul could care
For every time my voice was ignored
And no one ever was aware"

"Nine - For all of the lying truths
That my two ears have drunken in
For all the times I've tried to fight
And knew I could never win"

"Ten - Well this one's just for me
Hand on the trigger, blood to be bled
Soon all of you will know the reasons
Why I assumed I'd be better off dead"

I know these words are just a story
Perhaps you'll wonder, or maybe see
That deep inside this shallow life
Lies a girl that yearns to be free

The way she writes of death and pain
Begging for someone to care
The way she sees life in scrutiny
Complaining that life isn't fair

I know this poem will be forgotten
And maybe some will comment and vote
But for now these words mean nothing
.. She just sat down at her desk, and wrote.