Why should I care, if you dont care?

Hope is a distant friend I lost long ago.
So here is something you need to hear before I go.
I was here and I loved a few.
Never forget I loved you too.
But please release me and let me go.
I no longer want to put on a show.
I want people to see.
That I hate being me.
That I want to go.
Please remember that I'm not a h*e.
Don't forget me if you can.
Don't forget the times I took your hand.
Don't be afraid when I am gone.
I will no longer be your pawn.
To push around and cut with your words.
Leaving me feeling constantly hurt.
I'm leaving you to find someone new.
I will no longer be here for you to spit on or chew.
I want to be happy for once in my life.
Not living and breathing constant strife.
I know you can hear me and even if you don't care.
You still need to realize that I'm not there.
I need you to know that even if I'm nothing to you.
I will be there in all that you do.
I will be there to remind you everyday.
That what you wanted for me didn't come into play.
And when you need me, I wont be there
Because why should I care, if you don't care?