Not enough

Can't be honest inside cause of fear of regret and shame
Can't love with a heart of hate
it seems to consume, always losing the fight
I now have a zeal for the end
All i want is a rebirth, for the past to not be real
and the future to be mine and not a dream i wish for
But sadness is my shadow and everlasting need
I can not shake this off
It is not enough to keep me dead
but not enough to take my soul back