Jaded

I gave you my everything,
expecting the same in return,
I opened my heart,
only to have it burned.
My trust was given
ever so sweetly,
here I thought,
it would be you to complete me,
but only have I been
torn apart,
I try to mend the pieces
of what's left of my heart.
I loved you,
with everything I had,
I never dreamed
you would hurt me so bad.
So here you are,
sitting next to me,
and all I can think about
is the pain you caused, briefly.
I have now become jaded,
nothing is right anymore,
so complicated.
I love you, I hate you,
and at the same time,
I need you.
I hate the fact that I
love you like this,
I love the fact,
I desire your warm gentle kiss,
Why do I feel like I need you so,
why don't I have the strength
to say goodbye, to let you go?
With everything you
put me through,
I am so lost, confused,
not knowing what to do.
I fear that I am pulling away,
I don't want you to go,
in fact, I want you to stay,
I wish you hadn't hurt
me like this,
now I long for our days
of undying bliss.
That is just a memory
now in the past,
for now I ask myself
how long can this last?
The pain, the hurting, the suffering
ever so strong,
I do honestly love you,
but for how long?