Hate this world. so where do i go from here

I hate this world I'm in
Whatever corner i turn
theres something bad waiting for me
i no longer have the will to live
it's taken so much thought to come to this decision BUT
No matter what i end up on the negative side
it may just be which i doubt
but isn't that trying to say something?
i was like this once before
but things turned around
and now they are back again
I have tried and may continue to give it time
but i not sure it will turn around again.

I hate having to wake up and
looking in the mirror and seeing a fat low life girl (me)
i hate having to live an extra minute
disappointing those who care
i try to put things to the back of my head and smile
time upon time it has worked
but now they are creeping forward.

I try to take each day as it comes
but as i do i feel that tomorrow will be the last day for me.
but then i talk myself in to giving life more time
but how long can i do that
i can't bare the thought of hurting my friends no more than they are hurting now
BUT

I feel i have no choice
more pain may lead to less in the future
but i don't think they will see it that way

I'm feeling like a failure
my home life isn't at it's best
i feel I'm in the way
my school work is dropping
i no longer enjoy school or homework
which as sad as it sounds used to be the best bit of my life

cutting once helped
but having to repeat cutting shows its not a total success.
so where do i go from here?
i try to think about my future and i have high achievements
but then i think why am i kidding myself.
if i cant get the energy for school
how can i make my future achievements

i do want to be in school
i don't want to be at home
i just feel so low
where do i go from here?
i have an idea but is it right?
who will agree except me?

hi i wrote this poem when i was in class one day i was really low and i just wanted my life to end! please comment.