As I hold you crying
I think of what went wrong
you are here dieing
I don't know what to say
as you look at me
I look at you
you tell me not to cry
but I can't help it
I told you not to talk
until the ambulance came
you said no wait I love you
I said it back
and with that
you closed your eyes
you squeezed my hand
and then went pale
I held you tight
as you died
on that night
my whole life fell apart
i can not survive
with out you here
I loved you too much
and now your gone
the next day I was sitting in my room
the phone rang
it was your Best Friend
he said he found a note
addressed to me
he read it aloud
and my heart skipped a beat
I asked when it was written
he said last night
I was so confused
because I was with you all night
he said at the bottom
it said it wasn't your fault
but it was erased
I didn't know what to say
we hung up
I looked for my gun
I couldn't pull the trigger
I didn't have the heart
I looked for my pills
I dumped some in my hand
I got some water
but couldn't swallow
I looked for my razor
I put it to my wrist
I pressed and blood came out
I took it out and cleaned it up
I went to my room
sat beside my bed and said
to God I hope I wouldn't live another day
there is no point to living anymore
that night as I went to sleep
a voice inside my head
told me that the night he died
was when I was gonna leave him
I thought about my life
I started to cry
the next day I woke up
I thought I saw you standing there
with a gun to your head
then you disappeared
I pulled my gun out
and suddenly I got the heart
I pulled the trigger on three
and I was gone..
