How could you do that to me?
I was only six
how could you leave me.
I needed you
I trusted you
I leaned on you
that dreadful October day
what a funny day to choose
the day of my birthday
I thought you would always be there for me
I thought you would never leave my side
little did I know that was the day your life would come to an end.
I stood there
screaming your name
I did not know what else to do
except you did not see me,
you did not hear me
all that matter to you was the pain
you wanted it to go away
you needed it to go away.
I could not figure out what you were doing
why you were standing on the ladder
why you kicked it out from underneath your own feet
you were to high for me to reach
I was just a little kid
I fell to my knees
crying
the image still in my head
I see it every time I close my eyes
every year that dreadful day comes
I still think its my fault
I did not do anything to save you
I could not stop you.
There was nothing I could do.
I still wake up screaming your name
wishing you were here
but I guess you could not deal with the pain
I guess you needed it to end
but now that your pain is gone
mine is just beginning and it will never end
