Searching

This loneliness has consumed me once again tonight,
still searching for the man to be with for the rest of my life,

it is obvious that I have had my share of wannabe loves,
but in the end I can not see any of those capable of being the one,

I get emotions involved too fast for my own good,
fully knowing that that love is a feeling often misunderstood,

I still go out almost every night with a smile on my face,
then I realize that I am coming in last in this stupid race,

so when is all this pain going to start making some type of sense,
this happiness you all see has become my defense,

I try so hard to not let anyone see that I am having this type of pain,
but in the end real love is what I am searching to gain,

I thought that I was really in love with the last one,
but before I knew it we were done,

it was me I blame for the way things turned out,
I made him believe things that were not really what I was about,

so now I guess I will just have to sit here again and wait,
trying to let things just be in the hands of fate.