Secretly dieing

Secretly dieing,
my life is fading away
and so are you
each and everyday
further away,
you seem to me
i try to pull you back
but it just wont be
i try and try,
my health on line
giving up sleep to say a line
i write all night,
in spite you'll know
that how much i love you
is more than you'll know
i try to explain,
but rumor's take their stand
and I'm left drowning
in every Lie's hand.
you believe what you hear,
instead of my side
their lies come to truth
right before your eyes
i tell you not,
that their not true
but you believe it anyways,
what can i do?
god and me, know what is
what people like them want from this
for you to hate me,
and to give me up
for they to have you,
and they wont give up
ill stand my ground,
i wont give up
ill keep trying
till i have you now
my days go by silenced,
hardly speaking a word
but people still say he said, i heard.
its hard to do so,
but ill do it for you
i still cry at night,
knowing this isn't right
holding my pillow ever so tight
the tears flood my room
and drown my heart
its floats helplessly,
its falling apart
believe in one
and keep your faith
just keep holding
you'll soon find a way
the end isn't here
but it feels real close
just keep holding
you'll see love's ghost
so why are you mad,
you wont listen to me
i understand that
ill never be perfectly
but listen to me
and my words you see
because what i have to say
is so heavenly
i love you each and everyday,
i wrote it before,
i wrote it today,
my life is you,
but you don't want me
so i sit in class thinking
whats for me
i feel like nothing
my life is hell
you seen it before,
and now you can tell
everything i do
is and for you
but you don't want it,
i think its true
your the only one,
that i know that cares
but sometimes i feel
your just not there
and i love you,
is that not enough?
what else you need,
a million bucks?
if my doing isn't enough
and my being isn't well
then well hell,
what do you want,
I'm different from them,
and you know that
and i love you,
can you not see that
i told you many times,
I'm based on truth
just one more time, i love you
now the end is here
and hopefully you felt my tears
because really there isn't anything
left for me here
so leave me to be
to secretly die.
-Joshua