Dedication to My Best Friend

So many memories of what we had
I look back now and wonder why
Why did I give up fighting
why was it all too hard
We were meant to be besties forever
yet it ended so suddenly
did everything we have mean nothing?
wasn't it worth the fight?
I still face the pain
I face it everyday
watching you so happy
did you even care about me at all?
or was I just someone who was there when you had no-one else at all
did you know my wrist are bleeding for what we had
I guess you don't because that's something no-one knows
It's ok, the physical pain is nothing
Nothing compared to the hurt inside
it never will be
You said you'd always be there for me
so where are you now?
do you even care?
care that this is slowly killing me
did I ever really mean anything to you?
did you ever need me the way I need you?
was I always there when you needed me?
Was I a good friend?
cause it feels as if you don't care
have you ever really cared?
did I ever mean the world to you?
the way you meant the world to me
the truth is you still do
you always will
I try to let go
people try to get me to talk to you again
I want to but I don't know what to say
would you put in the effort if I did?
I wonder, could we make it work?
could we make things the way they were?
can we bring back the past?
I love you more than you could ever know
we stood by each other through the tough times
my friend your the one who pulled me through
made me believe this life is really worth living
now I am so confused
should I go on believing what you said
or let go because your not here anymore?
photo's remind me
bringing even more pain
I just want to yell at myself
cause things'll never be the same
don't know how much longer I can live without you
going through this pain you put me through
though I know you don't mean it
wish I could hold you in my arms
my best friend... I miss you