Is It Worth It ?

I’m living from moment to moment,
Not even from day to day
It feels as if this darkness
Will never go away.

I’m cold, so cold, inside my soul
I cannot feel the sun
There once was a point to my existance,
But now my race is run.

I came last of course, I always do
I never expected to win.

But it would have been nice to have had a chance to avoid this state I’m in.

I know there’s one sure way to end it
To cease to feel the pain
But I’m afraid that I’d still be a failure
And wake to face it all again.

I’m afraid to live, afraid to die,
I cannot make a choice.

My friends tell me to ‘Do something!’
But my fear has stilled my voice.
So I suppose I’ll just have to continue
In this dark and joyless life
Until I get desperate enough to CHOOSE –
The Darkness or the Knife.