Realization Of The Finality

Feeling so much resentment as i take my first step up,
my life is about to be ended i've just had enough,
i tie the ends of the rope together in a tight little knot,
for so long i have faked my happiness but now i realize that happiness isn't something that can just be bought,
i stand on the platform beneath me,
the only thing keeping me from life and death, how could this be?
whatever happened to the sweet innocent little child?
well she grew up and realized that nothing can be calm and mild,
so much torture and pain,
the comments and words drove her insane,
and now because of them she is ready to end it all,
ready to step off of the edge and take the fall,
ready to plummet into the darkness,
ready to end this life that was such a mess,
ready to stand face to face with the leader of her after-life,
ready to end this tormenting strife,
ready to say good-bye to all those who acted as if they cared,
but to save her-they wouldn't have dared,
i take the noose and put it around my neck,
to make sure no one is there to stop her again she does check,
no one is in sight,
so she finally does what for so long she has felt was right,
she lets the noose fall down upon her head,
so happy that she will finally be dead,
she kicks the platform to the ground,
and falls without a sound.....
memories ran through her head of things that have passed and things that are still yet to come,
she wanted to stop this madness but slowly felt herself go numb,
she thought of her friends who she would miss so dearly,
she could have just simply walked out on them and came back to visit yearly,
but instead she had to end it all for the ones around her,
she thought of the trouble this might stir,
she got down to her last breath,
she tried to kick and scream for help but seemed to fall into the hands of death,
her mom walks in and sees her hanging from that rope,
and thinks about how her baby girl had just slipped away from her as if a bar of soap,
she grabbed the limp body in her arms,
brought her down and tried to do no harm,
it might have been too late to think about that now,
her baby could be gone forever but how?
a silent tear fell down her cheek,
she felt so helpless and so weak,
she couldn't help her daughter when she needed help the most,
she might still be able to see her, but just as a ghost,
tears fell from mother to daughter,
thoughts of how with everything she had always fought her,
no parent ever wants to bury their own flesh and blood,
she never thought that she would have to put her little girl ten feet beneath the dirt and mud,
she held her daughter close to her; feeling no body heat,
and listened for a simple little heart beat,
but heard nothing come from her daughter's pale chest,
for her baby's life to come to an end like this she never would have guessed,
she was gone for good no coming back,
her little girl's love she would truly lack,
she heard a little breath come from her lips,
coming out in little gasps as if life was a wine and she was taking little sips,
she looked down and seen into her daughter's baby blue eyes,
thankful that god came through and didn't let that little girl rise,
she looked up at her mom and said with a slight little smile,
"i guess i can come back down and live for a while",
so happy to have her daughter back and safe,
she hugged her tight to her and kissed her on the face,
"i'm so glad to have you back",
"please never scare me like that again cause my world will surly turn black",
the girl smiled and realized that life might just be worth living for,
to wish for death she would no more.

© Jenna Elphick
November 6, 2004