I know its long but please read it would mean a lot
we haven't seen each other
for quite a while
if only you knew whats been going on
then you'd know why i put on this fake smile
you ask me how I've been doing
and i tell you I've been great
yet you see the truth though my eyes
so you stop and for the truth you wait
i tell you I'm being honest
that life's going very well
but on the inside I'm screaming
since you left it's been nothing but hell
but i guess you know me better
since i showed you the real me
so i welcome you to my world
but with caution you may not like what you see
you really want to know the truth
i say as i look him in the eye
life's been hell without you
the tears haven't stopped i would rather die
you were the thing that kept me strong
but once you left my strength did too
i cant believe how you're gone
how you fell out of love and picked someone new
I'm so completely broken
what does she have that i don't
its like you're a whole new person
maybe you fell out of love but i wont
i find myself home alone
so for comfort i turn to food
and i binge till i cant eat anymore
whenever I'm in a depressed mood
then i go to the bathroom
and shut the door behind me
as i bend down to the toilet
i think maybe if i was skinner we'd still be
you see i start to tell him
i would do anything to be with you
if you want me to be skinnier
then becoming skinnier is what i must do
this is just one part
of the hell hole i live in
would you like to see the rest of it
well then by all means come in
welcome to my world
where perfections never reached
where everything i do is unsatisfactory
and where working to the best of my ability is preached
theres constant yelling and screaming
and scornful words galore
you think I'd lose my virginity
because you think I\\\'m a wh*r*
you hate the way i dress
and the way i do my hair
your constant telling me how i embarrass you
and saying I'm a burden i must bare
and you wonder why I've turned
to my self destructive ways
why I've tried to kill myself
on more then one occasion on numerous days
thats just a taste of whats been going on
so welcome to my world
this is what you've missed
since you've been gone
i hope your happy now
that you know what i really feel
that you leaving has made life hell
and it will take much time for my heart to heal
a tear starts to fall
down the side of my face
and i give you a final kiss
and walk away to defend my case
that night as i lay
awake in my bed
i replay all our memories
and see your smile in my head
please god if you're listening
help me make it through
help me to be strong
and not to be so blue
i know you've got someone
special planned for me
i just hate being alone
getting hurt is such a big fee
and as for my mother
please make her understand
that no matter how hurtful she gets
if she's reach out I'd take her hand
so for the people who mock me
oh you're so very wrong
i dare you to enter my world
and live where I've lived all along
